leopard + sex & the city

Lately I’ve been re-watching Sex & The City. The series originally aired when I was a pre-teen but I don’t recall watching it until I was in my early 20s.  My friend, a total Samantha, introduced me to the show. She was a part of my life during a time when I was just starting to think about who I wanted to be as an adult. She introduced me to a lot of things – she was so much fun – a total social butterfly.

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As I’m watching season 1, I find myself asking so many questions:

  1. Why did we love this show so much?
  2. Why did we all say we were most like “Carrie?”
  3. Do other women my age look back on shows like this and hope young women don’t think this is a reflection on how dating is after 30?

I find myself watching this as a more mature adult and I see Carrie’s character so differently than I saw it 10 years ago. There are so many instances where she interacts with Mr. Big and she doesn’t express herself in a direct way – but rather, she waits until issues fester up and then she blows up. I can’t imagine acting that way as a 35 year old woman – especially over the minute issues they face – such as his casual glances towards other women in passing.

During the first few episodes (breakup 1 and 2) their relationship seems to be held back by his inability to commit. His character tells us that he isn’t ready to commit but that he loves her – and he seems to come from a place of honesty when he communicates with her. Frankly, I see her inability to communicate as a central issue in their relationship at this point. But looking back, I know I didn’t see the issues in that same vein years ago. In my early twenties, it seemed that the media I consumed and the voices I listened to didn’t teach us to actually listen to men’s opinions and feelings in relationships – but rather, critique their actions in such a way so as to anticipate cheating or other problems. We weren’t taught how to communicate properly.

I hope that people learn from family, friends, mentors or community organizations proper communication skills but I know that a lot of young people grow up digesting media – specifically learning the principles that will guide their lives, from the television they watch and I hope that we’re making better TV than Sex and the City today.

 

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