This is Goodbye

This year, I spent my birthday doing everything I wanted to do and nothing I didn’t. Mr. Unicorn started the day by telling Alexa to sing to me. One Happy Birthday song just wouldn’t do. From that moment until we closed our eyes that night, I just couldn’t help but smile.

It was a perfect January morning: top down, passenger seat, his hand holding mine and just the right amount of wind in my hair. With the music all the way up, I relaxed my head against the seat of his classic convertible and closed my eyes. This is everything, I thought. We stopped at Starbucks and then cruised around his neighborhood before I got ready for a photoshoot.

I used to dread getting older, but these days, I seem to have a firm grasp of where I’m headed and there’s a lot to be happy about in that. What is very clear to me is that the people that matter – well they seem to matter more each coming year. It’s pretty simple – love the people that you love and pursue your goals with everything you have.

I’ve been working on myself for the better part of the last 10 years and it wasn’t until I started to really love myself that I knew just how far you can go when you do.

Two years ago, I made a promise to myself – that I wasn’t going back. To me, that meant that I wasn’t going back to my old ways of settling. I promised myself that I wouldn’t settle on a place, a person or a career. “I’m not going back” has become a playlist, a mantra, a way of life for me – it is something I say to remind myself of how far I’ve come and where I’m going. It started in an instant, on a warm Tempe Springtime night – when Tommy and I met for the first time.

Without meaning to, he has opened my eyes to things I hadn’t been able to see. He’s loved me and supported me in ways I never thought a man could. I write this post as I catch, out of the corner of my eye, a glance at the framed photograph of my boyfriend and I that sits on my desk in my apartment in LA. This is the last blog post I’ll write from this room. I’ve grown up so much over these past two years living in LA. So much has changed and I am still so surprised that everything I have been working towards and praying about is finally happening.

I accepted a job that will bring me closer to everything I’ve wanted for a long time. A few months ago I made the intention of leaving LA to go back home to the desert and I promised myself that I wouldn’t do it until an offer I couldn’t refuse came my way. Today that happened.

So this is Goodbye LA ❤ You know I never loved you.


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