I wish I could tell 10 year old me this: your weight will not stop people from loving you!
My weight was a topic of conversation more often than it ever needed to be. Believe me, it shouldn’t be a topic of conversation unless you want it to be. In past relationships, it was often discussed and it became of painful red flag.
I met my unicorn when I was at my heaviest weight (Read our story here). Unlike most of the men who came before him, he never made me feel like the person I was back then was merely a preview of a future more-perfect me. My weight wasn’t a problem to be fixed and I never even mentioned I wasn’t happy with my weight back then. When it came to losing weight, I didn’t try to lose it, the weight came off naturally when I made some lifestyle changes.
From the first moment I spent with him, there has never been a question of whether he was happy with my appearance. He has always made me feel special and doing something as simple as walking around the grocery store with him has the effect of making me forget the rest of the world even exists.
But despite the happiness I feel about our relationship, we still sometimes have disagreements. Yes, we have arguments because we are two people with opinions. Conflict is normal. What is different from past relationships is that he doesn’t use conflict as an opportunity to tear me down. He never makes me feel like I’m not good enough for him.
We sometimes get a little petty about who is going to do the dishes or any other task neither of us is feeling particularly eager to do but do you know what topic never comes up? How fat I am. Yep, I never hear how disappointed he is about how I look because he isn’t disappointed with me. The man actually loves me and I’m telling you about this because you can find this too.
You don’t need a nose job, you don’t need a tummy tuck, a bbl or a lap band surgery to find your person. I’m not saying you need someone in order to be happy, but I assume you clicked on this post because you might be interested in the topic.
I don’t think finding a mate is so much about finding the other person as it is about finding yourself first. He will arrive after you do. I know that seems sort of silly but for me and many of my close friends it worked that way: it was through really kick ass self discovery, hard work and boundary setting that we found our best selves: That best self is the one that attracts the right partner. And in case you missed it, he proposed! We’ve set a date and have already begun wedding planning! (Click here)
But what did I do that helped me become my best self? I set boundaries with people, I actually learned how to practice the kind enforcement of boundaries and most importantly, I changed my internal dialogue. I became the parent I had always needed and I began loving myself how I needed to be loved. Learn how HERE.